Smoking is Cool

Secondhand smoking in bullshit. It has not been proven that it has a hazardous effect. That's just a scare tactic by the gov. They "want" you to quit. Now they try to scare me with warning labels. Cigarettes kill they say. Well...I could kill for cigarettes.

You will often hear an uptight grown up person say,"Well you smoke because you want to look cool hand have a lot of friends". Yes that is the reason I smoke. But now most of my friends are in rehab or dead. Not a well thought out plan after all. Those uptight people will also walk by you and cough, just to show how much it bothers them. It is a good thing they don't smoke. Coughing like that. I smoke 20 a day and never cough like that.

No Limit

When ever you are talking about poker my dear reader. When you say no limit texas holdem. Don't say texas holdem. We get it!! We know you are talking about poker when you say no limit. Because what else could you be talking about? You never hear a guy, or a girl say no limit and then mean yatze. Or no limit ping pong, no limit sex. Just say no limit. We all get it!

My Son

Britney Spears and Kevin

I bet them's fixin' fer a whole litter of chitlins...

The Loony HC Andresen

A Norwegian magician, Hans Christian Andersen announced in today's papers that he will attempt to stay in a huge tank of water for 1 week - Mind you the tank is not just filled with water. Sharks as well. 4 mean hungry sharks.

The sharks have not been fed. So they are hungry. The sharks do need food. Who else to feed them than the magician. Each day the magician will attempt to hand feed the sharks with chunks of meat. A lot of concern has erupted around this. Hans has for the past few years battled his way through court rooms to get permission to do the stunt.
Hans claims to be a professional hypnotist. He will hypnotize the sharks.
Quote...I have specialized myself in hypnotism. I have trained for 15 years hypnotizing animals. I discovered this ability when I was a jungster. I was able to communicate with my dog. I could command my dog to do exactly what I wanted. I will do the same with the sharks. They will not harm me because they are my friends.

More to come.

Great Inventions

Shorts is a weird invention. It's not pants, it's not underwear but right in between. Wonder who came up with the idea? Was there one guy working at a clothing factory going, "Jim, come and take a look at this. I cut the pants in half and it's going out like that."
What's next? Half a sock? "Jim, what do you think of my new socks?" "They go great with the pants."

Jihad/Yihaaa

Mullah Krekar. That is another individual who should have his balls stapled to a moving train.
apparently a few countries in Europe have pissed off the muslim world. Including Norway. The muslim world is now announcing war against all the countries who did this shameless act. What would create all this hate you ask? Well a caricature of the all so fucking holly moses Muhammad.
One minute the muslism say they are not violent people. The other minute they blow up a fucking country. It's like when Michael Jackson said, I'm back and black. No white, black, white. Well, we don't know what he is. Mike's just about to jump species.

Holy war they say. More people are being killed in the name of god than for any other reason.

Magician X

Hmm...Weird. Magician X blog seems to have disappeared. Wonder what happened to the guy? It's another case for the conspiracy freak.

Time Saving Concept

Have you ever heard of the concept of saving time? Well, it does exist. On a daily basis we hear of these citizens who have accomplished just this. You might save some time by taking a few shortcuts to work.
Then you might ask - when can you use the time you have saved? If you have saved 2 hours over the past week. Do you then have 2 hours to spare? This concept is going to sky rocket one day. I'm telling you. One day when walking down the streets you might hear from homeless person,"Can you spare some time mister?". You might as well just start saving up right now. Like many of you readers are thinking now. "Maybe he is right. I should save some time".
The really great thing about the time saving concept is when you die. You get to heaven. Or if you are a Bush fan you go to Hell.
Either way. You can just go,"Nope, not to day mine imaginary friend. I've saved time, 36 hours. Fuck you.".
That's how it went with Jesus. He died. Went to heaven. Told the ol'man off, "Yo pops. I got time to spare. Me and my homies are going to a party. You dig?".
God:"I dig".