Friday, December 23, 2005

Cock for dinner!

That's a nasty soup. Speaking of cock soup. I had a cock problem in the kitchen today. Naturally I'm speaking of the soup, the cock soup. I went to grab the cock. I got it out. I closed the fridge to quickly and the cock got caught in between. The cock soup. I'm talking about soup. Those cock suckers are popular today.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005


Today I thought about writing some riveting notes in my blog. After I skipped over to How much is my fucking crappy life sucking blog worth, I don't feel like writing. My blog isn't worth the sewage pool it came out of.
Oh yeah - Go ahead. I'm sure you are all excited. It's just like when you wonder how much it hurts to get your ass kicked so hard that your nose will bleed.

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Pepsi Max

This is Pepsi Max take on the black art principle.


Thursday, December 15, 2005

Not paying for a ticket.

If you do not want to pay for a parking ticket, or any other ticket for that matter. This sure will get out of the jam.

Approach the officer and say "No problem - I do apologise, entirely my fault. You clearly have a job to do and I should of been more careful, and I should learn to shake my hand."

This last bit that makes no sense, is said quickly and casually as you extend your hand in a friendly gesture. He should take it, which he wouldn't otherwise. Then as he does,say, "Hey, I met your dad yesterday. He's looking well." You are going to induce a state of confusion and suggestibility.

Don't quit shake hands with him. Take his wrist with your left hand and slowly bring it up in front of his face. Point at his palm with your right forefinger. Firmly but calmly say, " Look here. And of course you'll wonder what the ticket is, just like waking up from out of a dream three minutes from now and not sure what you are doing. That's fine, you can just throw it away any where you like. Or put it in a pocket, it's up to you."

If you've done it right, he will be very tranced out and just staring at his hand while you drive off.
His unconscious will act upon your instructions as a relief from the utterly blank mind state in which you have induced. And give him the double bind option of whether to throw the ticket away or put it in his pocket.
It's like asking a kid whether he wants to go to bed 7.30 or 8 pm. Eitherway he goes to bed early, but he feels he's making a decision.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Free Office!

Free Office to everyone!
The new OpenOffice is just as good as Word and Excel, and it is totally free.