Happy Birthday

My birthday is coming up. July 25. I'm not excited about it. No matter how old you get, they treat you like a kid. You are 50 years old, you still have to blow out the candles. There is always one candle that stays lit. Then the rest of the group has to help out, because you could not possible do it on your own. Yeah, you managed to blow out 15 candles within 3 seconds and you almost pass out and land your face in the cake.
The rest of the group has to help out. Among that group is a person know as, the spitter. You do not want people like that near a candle lit cake. Specially if it's cake you are going to eat.
Later on you have to open the presents, otherwise you are rude. I hate the pressure when opening presents. Everyone is watching you. It's like, will he make it or not. First you have to struggle to open the present, which was wrapped 10 times with duct tape. Thank you uncle Joe, you are a real handyman. When you finally open it up, you have to pretend to like the gift. Always shit. Like sandal's. Sandal's are waste. It's like, where the fuck is the other half of the shoe. It's only half of a shoe. Go back to the store and ask for the other half. You've been ripped off.
Every year you get a bottle of perfume from someone. " I love you but you smell like shit. That's why I bought you this bottle of perfume". "Thanks Tiffany, THANKS".
There is always people you don't know at your birthday party. How the hell did he get here? People you don't like and don't know.
At the end of the day you have to say thank you to all the people you did not invite. You have to thank them for coming to a party you did not want to be a part of in the first place.