Saturday, September 10, 2005

Insaminator

Now days we have a wonderful thing called viagra. Before, it use to be rhino horn and eye lashes to give you great masculinity. You can go for an hour, and your thinking,"Yes". Your lady is going "No way. I got shit to do". The phone rings,"Yeah I'll be late today. Shit viagra. Oh go out side with that thing". You got more seamen than the german fleet. And the moment you have an orgasm, you look like Goofy. "Aim for the tits hawkeye".
The girls better use some birth control, because those sperms will be coming out of there in 500 miles per hour. A little piece of rubber is not gonna stop that. It's like putting gaze in front of a semi, come on through.
All it takes is one little sperm. One little sperm makes contact. Then its like a chromozone square dance. 24 chromozones coming down.
You just created your self a little creature. The natural process takes its place and 3 months later, the titty fairy arrives. You make one move she goes,"No, they are for the baby".
A couple of months later something else happens. The hormone fairy arrives. It makes her period look like nothing.
One day you'll be coming home and she will be standing there with a large knife yelling,"HONEY". The only thing that can save your ass then is, Haagen Dazs. You have to leave it at the door. She comes out 5 feet and crawls back inside while eating it with her hands.
When that final day comes, you have to drive her to the hospital. She is in the car screaming. Your thinking you have to get her to the hospital, but you also have to get this screaming bitch out of the car. She is like the great white traveling down the highway.
You are a father now. You have to pull your self together. I mean, you can't come home drunk. The kids toys will mess with your head. Like the transformer. It's a truck, it's a robot, what the fuck is it.
.

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

lol... interesting post! :)

8:34 PM  

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